Destiny. I had always believed it to be an event or a course of events that would inevitably happen in the future. Even when I could see that I was headed for destruction, I would say “we are helpless in the face of Destiny. There is nothing I can do about it.” Now I know better. Destiny can be changed. A decision, prayer, or intercession can change destiny. I learnt this when I had the challenge of having a sexual relationship with a coworker.
For months Big Boss had been stating his interest in me. I call him “Big Boss” because he held a top management position. Then I was a young single lady who had just joined the organization. He was a married man in his fifties. I was scared that if I did not give in to his request, I might lose my job. Week after week, the pressure mounted. I could not report it as a case of sexual harassment, after all it came subtly in every meeting we had. At nights when he called, I was so lonely that I looked forward to speaking with him. Each line he dropped was seed for my flesh. As the days went by, it became more difficult to say no.
I thought about my career in the company. I thought about the stigma if anyone found out about us. I thought about my future – maybe no man would marry me after hearing I had been a girlfriend to Big Boss. But when I thought about the pleasures and the satisfaction of my flesh, I began to wonder why I should bother about my future and what people might think.
I felt like I was at a crossroad in my life. There were so many decisions I could make at that moment though only one was the perfect will of God for me. I could postpone my answer giving me more time to evaluate what I was feeling. I could report the situation to my manager. I could say yes and accept the consequences. I could say no, but that word could not come out of my mouth.
“Lord, I need your help,” I cried to God. “Your word says that the temptations in my life are no different from what others experience. And You are faithful. You said You will not allow the temptation to be more than I can stand. You also said when I am tempted, You will show me a way out so that I can endure. Please take this man away from me because I cannot say no. Please make him forget to call me today.”
After this prayer, Big Boss called on the hour, giving me his itinerary for the day, and what he planned to do with me in the evening. “I am going to give you pleasure you’ve never imagined,” he said in a deep, sexy voice during his last call. I could not resist anymore. I made up my mind. It seemed God did not answer my prayer so I concluded that He did not care. I decided to give in to the demands of Big Boss.
I prepared that evening. I bathed in scented water, wore my favorite underwear, perfumed myself from head to toe, and wore clothes that would not hinder the activity for the evening. I was ready 3 hours before my date. I lay down on the bed thinking on the nice words Big Boss had told me. Every remembrance of his sweet words made me wish for time to move faster. I was in this dream world when my best friend called.
“Are you coming to church this evening?” he asked.
Church? I asked myself. I had forgotten about mid-week service.
“No, not this evening. I have a date,” I replied.
“With who? Can’t you bring your date to church?”
“Certainly not! My date is with Big Boss. I have said yes to his request.”
“You said yes?” He sounded disappointed.
“Yes, I did.”
“Okay. I’m sorry but I am going to ruin your date this evening. Every five minutes, I will call your mobile phone.”
“You won’t do that!” I could only wish for once my best friend will not mean what he said.
“Yes I will.”
“Then I will put my phone off.”
“What will you tell your folks if they try to reach you and find out your phone is off?”
I was quiet for a moment. He knew that during the evenings I kept my phone on to be reachable by my family members.
“What time is your date?” he asked.
“In about 3 hour’s time.”
“Why don’t you come let’s chat to pass the time?”
His house was fifteen minutes drive from mine so I accepted. When I got into his house, he was praying. When he finished, we spent over an hour sharing our day’s experience. There was so much joy and laughter between us. I felt refreshed.
When I got up to leave he said, “You really don’t want to see Big Boss, do you?”
“No I don’t, but I have given him my word. I can’t turn back now. It’s too late. If you were Big Boss, how would you feel if a lady backs out of a date which you both have agreed on?”
“I would feel she is not interested and I would move on to the next available lady,” he said casually.
I felt a mix of cold, inferiority and hurt.
“Really? So you mean if I tell Big Boss I am not coming this evening, he won’t lay down on his bed having a moody evening?” That is what I would do if my date did not show up.
“Come on, he is a man. A mature man for that matter. He would probably hang out with some friends or call someone else. A woman that is seen as an object for satisfying a man’s lust is not indispensable. Any other woman can fill in that gap!”
“Oh! I see,” I said slowly.
Suddenly, I knew in my spirit the decision to make. I was no longer afraid. I became bold. I was no longer focused on the pleasures my body wanted. I picked up my phone and called Big Boss. I cancelled the date, apologized for giving him the impression that I was interested, and told him I would like us to keep our relationship professional. He was okay with all I said. After the call he sent a text saying that he had hoped we could deepen the relationship but he respects my wish to keep the relationship formal. That was the end of the pressures from Big Boss. I have been able to look him in the eye afterwards without guilt or fear. And I have been able to say no to several others without going through the weeks of indecision, fear and confusion.
Today I look back and reflect on that day. God’s response to my challenge was the best thing for me, better than what I prayed for. Now I realize I was not stuck with the destiny of being a girlfriend to Big Boss. That destiny was changed through prayer, the choice that was made and intercession by my best friend. God is faithful and His ways are far beyond anything I could imagine. He did not allow the temptation to be more than I could stand. When I was tempted, He showed me a way out.