The Children Teach - All About Fathers

Happy Father’s day to all fathers, fathers-to-be, and all father figures in peoples’ lives. What will the world be without fathers?

I am one of the teachers who teach the 8-9 year olds in church. Today’s lesson was about the loving father, taken from the story of the prodigal son [Luke 15:11-32]. The children brought a lot of insight into this bible story, as well as their perception of fathers, which I could not help but share.

Let’s start with what the children had to say about why they love their fathers…fathers, here is your checklist! 

1.       He treats me like an angel

2.       He is kind

3.       He supports me

4.       He disciplines me when I do wrong

5.       He never breaks his promise

6.       He is generous (he buys me toys and things I ask for) :-)

7.       He helps me with tasks and assignments

8.       He thinks about me all the time

9.       He loves me soooooo much

10.   He makes me know what God is like

What was amazing to me was realizing how much the children appreciated being corrected by their fathers, how they look to their fathers to keep promises, and how their fathers are reflections of who God is. Amazing!

After reading the story of the prodigal son, the children were asked to say what they really liked about the father in the story, and how the father was like their own father. Here goes…

1.       The father explained his actions to the elder brother (the young girl who said this mentioned that she appreciates it when her father explains to her some decisions he is taking)

2.       The father was always expecting his son (the girl that said this enlightened us to the fact that the father sighted his son afar off and ran to meet him, and she loves it when her father runs to her, embraces her and carries her like she is an angel)

3.       The father was always thinking about his son (the boy that said this explained that even when he is not around, he is sure his father always has him in mind)

4.       The father considered the lost son of great worth, not like a hired servant (the boy that said this explained that our fathers always see us as precious children, despite our mistakes)

What was profound to me was a realization when Aunty Chidinma (who was teaching the class) explained that we have an inheritance with Jesus. Immediately my eyes went to verses 28-32 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’  ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Maybe my understanding is not correct, but I deduced that Jesus is the older son in whom we are co-heirs [Romans 8:16-17a]. He is the one who is always with God our father, and owns everything that God has, while we are the children that were lost, and when found, not only does our Father celebrate and rejoice over us, He allows us partake of the inheritance that belongs to “elder brother Jesus”! Selah.

I am thankful for the lessons from the children, and how even we the teachers get to learn more about God through what we do and the children we communicate with.

Have a very blessed week ahead.

UPDATE:- I got this explanation to the verses (Luke 15:28-32) from David C Brown and I decided to share...

The elder son became angry and refused to go in - he was someone refusing the blessing because he thought he was righteous. The younger one realised his need. But the father is still pleading - and God is still pleading for even those who are self-righteous to come in.

In Memorial

Of September 11. As America is in memorial today, so am I. Only that mine is 15 years. 15 years of losing a man I took for granted. Every time I have to reflect on the incident that took place today 15 years ago, I just weep. There has been no maturity about it. I think of the manner, the untimeliness, the words I wished I said, and the things I should never have said or done. Now I know it is never too early to appreciate a loved one or to say, “I love you”.

I recall this day 15 years ago. Before the crack of dawn, the deed was done. Leaving Daddy, who was so full of life, as nothing but a lifeless corpse. In just a matter of seconds. I wondered if morning will ever come.

The Incident:I remember vividly well that night. It all started by 1a.m. We were woken up by the shrill cry of neighbours who were being attacked by armed robbers. Dad, who never minds his business, picked up a whistle and started whistling for help. The whole area where we lived was at alert. I guess everyone bolted their doors and started hiding.

I went to Mom’s room where she was with Boy. He was awake and needed a change of diapers so Mommy asked me to do it. Then I heard voices under the window of her room. Someone asked in a deep voice, “Wey dat man wey dey disturb our operation?”. I panicked. “Mommy, they are around the house,” I said. She quickly ran to Daddy and told him. Daddy said we should all enter one room and hide while he deals with them.

We went to the biggest room in the house. Dota 1, Dota 2 and Dota 4 hid above the closet so that if the men want to rape, there will be few to rape. Me and Boy hid under the sheets of one of the beds in the room cos they assumed I was the only one who could keep him quiet. Dota 5 and Dota 6 were so small that you could barely find them hidden under the bedsheets of the other bed. Mom paced the room as Dad carried his cutlass to fight the men.

We heard the shattering of the back door and in no time, they were up to Daddy’s room. I heard nothing else. After 10 minutes of the longest waiting period of our lives, we heard the men say “Omo, let’s go!”. We waited for Daddy to come and call us out. 5 mins passed. He had not come. Dota 4 said she heard something like a gun shot. We told her to shut up, that she only thinks of bad things. Mom told Dota 2 (the tomboy) to go and ask Daddy if we could come out.

*Sniffing…* I have never heard Dota 2 scream like she did that night. It was shrill and laden with emotions. Then she ran back to the room to call Mommy. She could not talk. Her lips were moving but no word could come out. She was panicking frantically. After Mommy held her, he managed to voice out, “Daddy has been shot”.

We all ran to his room.
The door of his room had traces of blood and human flesh splattered on it. I was still carrying Boy. We were totally speechless when we all walked into the room. Dad was lying on the floor, on his student’s scripts, in a pool of his own blood. He was trying to utter something which could not be heard. He tried to reach out to us but we were too scared to touch him. His face held deep pain and anguish. His left arm was scattered by the gun shot of a double barrel. That is how we all stood crying “Don’t go, Daddy. Don’t go.” We were confused and helpless.

Till date, we never knew what happened between him and the armed men.

Those were the days of no gsm, nitel lines were for rich people. Dota 1 and 2 went to call for help that came 20 minutes later. We watched as Daddy was tied in a bedsheet and taken to a car. Mother, Dota 1 and 2 went with them. Our neighbour (not the one being attacked) came and took the rest of us out of the house. One of the kids prayed for us that night.

Mommy, Dota 1 and 2 came home without Daddy. Then it dawned on us that we were fatherless and mother was a widow. It happened to real people not in Nigerian movie.

Traditions and Customs:
We were 6 girls and 1 boy. Boy was only 1 yr 9 months old when the incident happened. Dota 1 was 17. Tradition and Customs (T&C) said the girls should not go to school but go and live with Dad’s people as housegirls. T&C was to save Dad’s money to train Boy. T&C took all that belonged to dad leaving us homeless. Luckily, mom got a job in the university and we were given a small house to move into. T&C dragged mom to court several times within her one year of mourning. Salt inside pepper. T&C made us hate where we come from. T&C made us shave our hairs for one year and insisted that we should not wear wig.

Looking back:
Then, I was completely angry with God. I did not know Him. I simply turned my back on Him and said “Where was God when this happened?” But today when I look back, I see that He is the ever-present God. He is a Provider. Imagine that Mommy’s breast began to flow with milk so Boy had nutritious sustenance while we struggled on how to eat. He provided one day at a time. He could cause people to miraculously give when we desperately needed it (my 1st school fees after was paid by donations from my classmates). Imagine that I had a scholarship in university because someone liked my native name. Imagine a lecturer telling me not to pay for any of his textbooks or handouts. I had them free. Talking about what God has done during those 15 years, is a novel of its own. God, I thank You.

God does not take life – He gives life. This took me 15 years afterwards to understand.

I know how much progress there’s been in the lives of Mother, Dota 1 to 6, and Boy. And I know the best is yet to come. As I reflect on the incident that took place today 15 years ago, I just weep, yet comforted by the knowledge that there is a Father who will never leave me.