Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Infant Steps: Do Married Couples Have Less Temptations to Deal With?

Beloved EROLyrics Readers,

Even as this week unfolds, covenant grace and peace be to you in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior, who reigns forevermore.

Have you ever wondered if single people face more temptations than married people (or vice versa)? Ogonna shares her struggle and thoughts concerning this. Please read her question below and share your thoughts on this. Thank you.

Dear Rita,

I am a born-again Christian though I feel ashamed to say so. One of the areas I struggle with is premarital sex. I know that it is not good but I found out that I have fallen many times. I am still trying to get to that point where I can be in a relationship free of this temptation.

Somewhere at the back of my mind, I feel that if I was married, I would not be feeling guilty after I have been with my man. I actually feel that if I was married, I would no longer have any sin/temptations that I could not easily overcome. Which brings me to my question:

Do married people have less struggles and temptations to deal with compared to the singles? This may sound like a stupid question but I really want to know. If a married person does not have to deal with fornication, that should mean they can easily overcome thing like lying and stealing. Right?


If you have any questions you would like to discuss on the Infant Steps Series, please drop me an email at esurunma@gmail.com or leave the question as a comment in any of my blog posts.

If you want to view past questions and answers on the Infant Steps Series, please check the list on the sidebar right of the blog.

All posts on the Infant Steps Series will be posted on Tuesdays, 9 AM West Africa Time.


Omotee! said...

First time here, good work. Love ur theme too.

I am not married so i cant speak from that position. But i doubt if marriage will exempt u from sexual temptations as u might be sexually attracted to some other people, esp when u are not enjoying sex with ur partner or if u both have unresolved squabbles. i guess this is why lots of married people have extra marital relationships.

N.I.M.M.O said...

If you married for the right reasons, then the temptations would not be a problem but if not, then don't expect magic.

As e dey do bachelor, na so e dey do married man.

It is grace that helps.

Enkay said...

Definitely not!

Everyone, married or not, will face temptation and it's up to you to stand your ground or give in.

simeone said...

o.k...i like n.i.m.m.o's view...on dealing with fornication in marriage...being married does not mean the temptations of fornication will vanish...and apart from that..depending on the individual...there might be other "sins" ..that one might struggle with,,.when married..
..sori .,but can are you the only one who feels this guilt or your man feels same way too..? if u are interested in not feeling guilty anymore..then answerin the question is a good place to start..

HYAW said...

until recently it never occured to me that married people face that sort of temptation, somehow i think it is actually easier for the married person cuz atleast she is allowed to sleep with her husband

Myne Whitman said...

Fornication may be ruled out but adultery comes in. Being married does not cover you from stealing and lying at all.

I think some people beef up sexual sins as if they're the worst. Sin is sin and only the Holy Spirit helps us not marital status.

Favoured Girl said...

Struggling with sexual sin when you are single is not easy and you need the grace of God and a Holy Spirit's help to overcome it. That said, you have to really want to stop it. Sounds to me like the person enjoys the sin, just not the guilt that comes with it.

When you marry, you can have guilt-free sex with your spouse, and trust me, that's the best way to enjoy sex - without the guilt of disobeying God. If you however still habour other sins like lust of the eyes towards anyone other than your spouse, you will still struggle.

That said, sin is sin and all sins require God's grace and self control to overcome it, no matter your marital status. If you want to be free from any sin, follow the steps of confession, repentance and reliance on God's word and grace.

Anonymous said...

Great great comments, I don't think I can add anything else. NIMMO said it "as e dey do bachelor, na so e dey do married man" (same for women). Pre marital sex has immediate consequences (most times) as opposed to other shortcomings that have consequences that can be delayed. But if you are trying to save it till you are married you have to ask for God's Grace and work at it. It is not easy at all (speaking from 1st hand experience) but it is possible!! Good luck Ogonna.

Kafo said...

i'm with Omotee jare
temptations will exist regardless of whether u are married or not

the name of the sin will change from fornication to adultery but it is still a sin and u will still struggle

sorry babes

ochuko said...

I'm not married, so I can't say for sure. However, I feel the idea that one's going to have less temptation should not be a reason for entering into marriage.. So there's no less temptation to deal with, in fact I think the temptation is worse when married, cos the devil is all out to destroy the marriage institution

Jide Salu said...

My little contribution Rita. There is no small or big sin. Sin is sin, this has been said.

On the issue of temptation, it is there for all, married or single and trust me, it will never go away.

Unless, you leave in deceit, one can never deny temptation of some sort has never occurred.

My take is, as you are busy, so is Mr and Mrs Satan. They will always be around and engage in all sorts.

It is how close you are to Daddy in Heaven, for you to call upon him to help you that matters that will determine your sanity and faith.

Nobody can escape those "bobos", they are so bold and nobody is above approach, even our Lord Jesus Christ.

My point, develop a tight relationship with the Holy Spirit who will guide you at all times.

Nice one Rita.
taKia and God bless.

akaBagucci said...

hmm, perhaps sometimes it is even more dangerous?

Philip Evbomoen said...

Nice contributions so far. Let's take a bit of scriptural look into the matter to establish some facts:

1. All sin is sin and amounts to disobedience towards God but the sin of fornication/adultery takes an extra dimension (I cor 6:18 -Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.)
I can expound on this for anyone interested but get this right - Fornication has extra implications in spiritual matters.

2. EVERY man/woman is tempted according to his/her own lust, and enticed (James 1:14).

A habitual sin is not fixed by a single even of "I DO" proclamations. I am married and I can tell you that married people do not get Less temptations. I feel like sharing some more but lets keep it to two things that can help:
1. Phil. 2:12 "...work out your salvation with fear and trembling". You have to work this out. Make decisions and take steps that will hurt your body but profit your spirit.

2. Psalm 119:9 " How can a young man/woman make his/her way clean? by taking heed to God's word". Our generation want to experience God's help without necessarily experiencing God. This is the sad truth about these last days. If you spend time with God's word and in Prayer, He will rub off more and more on you and as you are changed to be like him, you find that ability to RESIST the devil/temptation...and though it appears you are losing or missing something, you have a deep inner peace because you know you have GAINED Christ.

God bless you.
Philip Evbomoen

~Sirius~ said...

Equal temptation if I might say so.

What happens is, people decide to block out/ beef up their walls.

Strict boundaries are created (individuals' choice)

aloted said...

temptation is no respected of whether you are single or married. in this case single people fornicate, married people commit adultery.

the bottom line is asking God to give u power over sin

David C Brown said...

1 Corinthians 7 is the chapter that specially deals with this; interestingly it is portrayed as a spiritual man's opinion. marriage is, from one view, provided because of our sexual desires. But it is, of course, much more. It brings in different temptations - but to have a spouse to whom you are married in the Lord is a great support for a Christian.

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Anonymous said...

Hi, am Dave -First time here.Am interested in what is goin on here.Am still single at 32 but have been away from fornication since 1999 till date(10yrs), and its all by the grace of God through His Sanctification Experience of the Holy spirit.The bottom-line is being dead to self-flesh i.e. mortifying the deed of flesh.Ogonna, i undestand ur concern is temptation cos u r single.trust God and He'll do it for u shortly.but ask the Holy Spirit to rule u and sure u'll be the best for it.Dave