Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Infant Steps: Who can I trust?

Beloved EROLyrics Readers,

Hope your week has started out well. Covenant grace and peace be to you in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior, who reigns forevermore.

Today’s question on the Infant Steps Series is very sensitive. Some people I have tried to share the word with and lead to Christ say there is no point because those who claim to be Christians are doing worse than unbelievers. I cannot ascertain the veracity of such statement but I know that Christians are human and are not perfect. What would you do if you find out that someone who has been trying to lead you into sin is a “man” of God? Please read Kate’s question below and share with her some encouraging words.

Thank you.

Dear Rita,
I am a student. There is this guy that has been chasing me for some time now. He has even tried forcing me to go to bed with him but I refused. One day when I was taking a walk in the night, I saw him at a “corner” with one lady. That place I saw him is known as a place where guys and girls meet to make out.

I have been having struggles with my Christian walk. On Wednesday last week I decided to go to a fellowship to rededicate myself to God and start afresh. To my amazement, the leader of the welfare department was that guy who has been chasing me! He was even among those asked to pray with the fellowship pastor for those who stepped out to rededicate their lives. I was shocked for a moment. Then afterwards I felt a great wash of disappointment. I was so overcome with emotions that I broke down crying. I wept for the whole day.

Now I feel like walking away from Christianity though I know without God, I will feel empty.

Have you experienced anything like this? What will you do in my situation? What should I do? Should I report him to the fellowship leader? How can I trust the other leaders of the fellowship?
Kate.



If you have any questions you would like to discuss on the Infant Steps Series, please drop me an email at esurunma@gmail.com or leave the question as a comment in any of my blog posts.

All posts on the Infant Steps Series will be posted on Tuesdays, 9 AM West Africa Time.

21 comments:

simeone said...

hmmm..bless your heart, i had to sort this out for myself sometime in my life..
i want you to know that as a christian your main focus should be on God ..your story is not different from those who find out a funny things about thier pastors.. they get really dissapointed, but they dont abandone God..one thing i'll like to tell you is ..if you are in any church or fellowship and you dont trust the leadership there, theres no point staying there..
get a devotional and start building that relationship with God gradually and you still need a good place to fellowship..
God sees your heart, tell Him how you feel, and he will guide you, believe me He will..
cheers

akaBagucci said...

perhaps Blaise Pascal's timeless quote is apt here.. (paraphrased)

That we see a line and know its crooked is evidence of the existence of a straight line...

ttlolla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ttlolla said...

I'd advise the lady to forget others and face her race, because people you hold in high esteem as xtians will continue to dissapoint you.

Even my youth pastor has the things he's fighting, i do ,and so do others

God is your strength

Kafo said...

should you report to the other leader: I say Yes, if he is legit then that is good if not then don't even associate with this group of xtians on campus

is there a female leader in the group?


Ghandi says he loves our Christ but hates our Christians so you are not the only one feeling this way,

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

fix your eyes on Jesus not on man because we are al shaped in iniquity

Temite said...

I am very sure I am not in the position to advice you on christianity.
But christianity means "wanting to be like Christ" not like Pastpr Sarah or Like Pastor Williams or like the Youth Pastor...but Like Christ. So look unto Jesus, the AUTHOR (he wrote it, not the pastor) and FINISHER (he sees the end, your end) of our faith (fate). Oh and he has made your path straight and luckily for us, He reveal himself to us in his words.
And oh all have sin and come short of his glory....
So even Pastor Adeboye I am sure sins sometimes.
But then again, what do I know.

Telekinesys said...

It's sad that this has happened but like others have said, what matters is your one-on-one with God.Leaders, Pastors etc will fail you at some point because they are humans with battles.The chap needs your help not your disappointment. Try to reach him, you may just be the one to set him straight.

aloted said...

i agree with what the others have said...also remember that the best of men are still men at their best...no man is perfect.

also pls attend a fellowship where you feel comfortable...that doesnt mean they will be perfect but let the holyspirit lead you to the place he has for you.

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

Wow..this is deep. Well we're all humans and we can't help but sin. We all have personal struggles and we have to fight them on a regular basis.

But, you're Christian walk should not be based on anyone else. Its between yourself and God and that she be your focus. The fellowhsip leader is definately wrong, but who are we to judge? I think that you should focus more on seeking out Christ for your own personal reasons and if push comes to shove...you can address the issue with the guy in question.

And you can always try a different church, a place where you'll feel comfortable. Remember that God didn't disappoint you...if was the brother that did..hope this helps!

Lady A said...

I agree with SIMEONE!!!! He said it all. Don't let one man's sin be the reason that you could go to hell. Let nothing tear you away from the love of God! Pray for him, we are ALL human.

bArOquE said...

Dear Kate,

As a young person, you should realise that every other young Christain out there has got issues that they are struggling with, those little demons. We all have ours. Like others have said, the focus is on Almighty God & not on any pastor, fellowship president or them holier than thou brothers/sisters...The arm of flesh will surely fail you

This is a fearful world. Expect not much in order not to be disappointed...with a pinch of salt i pray you take this

Life goes on...
ciao~Baroque

Olufunke said...

This is a very sensitive issue, I guess everyone would have one story or the other to say. Like others have said

I would tell Kate that

1. 'the fact that you can see a counterfeit of something/someone means that there is an original somewhere

2.I would not go back to heaven and give God the excuse that someone else was not being a good christian, that is why I also did not do the right things.

3. Christianity is an individual race, its s call to a personal walk with God,even though the truth is that others have the power to discourage or encourage us along the way.

4. Do not expect so much from any man, we all have struggles, we are work in progress, God is still dealing with some of us in different areas, you should start your own personal work with God too.

Like Aloted said, if you feel uncomfortable in a place of fellowship you can go elsewhere, but there is no prefect group of Christians anywhere.

God's grace

Enkay said...

It's important that you do not let anyone or anything detract you from your faith.

I don't know if it's your place to report this leader or not since he hasn't really 'done' anything per se. At best, it's your word against his. But I'd say you should beware of him.

He might be a 'bad' guy but not everyone at the church is bad. If you don't feel that you belong there, could you change fellowships? It's important that you feel like you belong to a church-home even though we all know that there's no such thing as a perfect fellowship. It'll help you build trust.

Finally, keep your eyes on the Son.

Tisha said...

are you crazy
there is nothing a human being will do to make me walk away from God. they have done it all already.

Remi, United Kingdom said...

I echo Simeone on this one. Your christian faith is and should not be focused on any man, it should be focused on God. Man will always fall short and therefore dissapoint.

Take some time and build a 'personal - one to one' relationship with God. Don't cast your confidence in God away or the joy you might have found with and in Him because of man. It is just not worth it. concentrate on God and He will show you the way to lead as true follower and believer of Him.

Much Lovex

David C Brown said...

There's only one perfect Man - Jesus. The man I most admired as a youth turned out to be untrustworthy. Yet we can have help with believers who follow righteousness, faith, love, peace, with a pure heart. Walk with them, but implicitly trust Jesus only.

HYAW said...

IT'S SO DIFFICULT TODAY TO IGNORE EVERYTHING GOING ON IN THE CHURCH. so i have a question. i know about 'not forgetting the assembling of the brethren' but with the advent of technology that lets you watch your pastor on t.v and dvd, is it okay to home-church, just as people home-school. so is it okay for someone (me) to pay my tithes and offerings, and yet stay at home every sunday to watch my pastor

David C Brown said...

I don't think that you can pursue righteousness, faith, love , peace with those that call on the name of the Lord ... without being with them, and knowing them, and learning along with them.

atlanta said...

It is heartbreaking when someone who you think you should be able to trust, such as people who are leaders in the church, turn out to be less holy than you think they should be. One of the problems is that church members expect leaders to be more holy than them, and when they find out they are not, they question all of Christianity. It's not necessarily wrong to question Christianity, however, don't let incidences such as this deter you from the pursuit of truth and living your life to the fullest. Nobody is perfect, and while perfection is a goal to aspire to, it can never be reached.

Patrina's Pencil said...

Have you experienced anything like this?
Yes, but then I see a lot more than most people see. I'm also of a pastor's family so I've seen the behind scenes stuff too - very disheartening to say the least.

What will you do in my situation?
What should I do?

I'm from America. I hear Nigerian churches or fellowships are quite different from our concept of church. Therefore, I can't really say how it should be done - for you in your situation. But I would stay clear from the guy in question - you have no proof as other's have said but you have your own gut intuition and that, my dear is worth staying clear of him. It would be obvious to me that he is a deceiver and a very charming one at that if he is on a 'trusted' level with the pastor. In other words... he's positioned himself to to protect himself from blame or confrontation. No one would believe the poor soul whoever tried to bring allegation of such degree against him. After all, he has the pastor in his pocket! STAY CLEAR OF HIM - THE FELLOWSHIP - AND THE PASTOR OF THIS FELLOWSHIP. They are all blind to what is right under their noses. Yes, we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God - but he is practicing sin - you are a testament to that - and pretending to be someone else in church. He is a charming 'deceiver'...and the pastor does not see this or doesn't care.

Should I report him to the fellowship leader? NO - for the above reason I just shared - you would not be believed and it would be a very painful ordeal that you can just avoid by going elsewhere. BUT... I'm angry at this situation that you find yourself in! I'm angry that this is going on right under the pastor's nose. I'm angry that you are questioning your future in Christ because of it. But it is all righteous anger. I have a right to be angry - so do you! The church should be the one place where we can go and find refuge!!!! Sadly it is fast becoming a den of thieves. I am strong enough in my faith to want to confront - but I don't sense that you are. I don't care what they may think of me when I walk away - I would feel worse by allowing others to continue to be deceived by this man and the pastor's ignorance. But again - it always comes down to your word against his... you have no proof - no witness - no back up - no one on your side. You can't fight the church and win.

I have to continue this in the following comment. Google doesn't like my long-winded response :)

Patrina <")>><

Patrina's Pencil said...

this is the 2nd half of my response...

How can I trust the other leaders of the fellowship?

Maybe, but why would you want to? It comes down to everything else that all the other's here have said - your relationship with Christ Jesus is a personal one. It is your walk and your walk alone 0- but you mist be connected to other fellow believers to keep your walk straight and accountable.(as you mentioned that yours was weak) - We need fellowship with believers for encouragement and to help strengthen our faith walk. But we must do most of the walk alone with God. That means to fully put your trust in God rather than man. Man is like a withering weed. Here today, gone tomorrow. Christ is the same yesterday , today and forever! He is the I AM of your past - your present and your future. That...you can count on!!! Fix your eyes upon Jesus - don't turn left or right - just look straight ahead to that narrow way. Looking away will bring disillusionment and distraction and derailment from your intended goal - to shine like the stars with His GLORY!!

I realize that I've come upon this post a year late :) but still a timely question - maybe even more so in this day than a year ago - times are even grimmer now. But pick up your sword and lift up your head and walk right into that redeeming relationship with the Lord of our Salvation. He is the good shepherd in whom you can put all your trust - you have my word on that! But don't take my word - for heaven's sake - read the Living WORD of God. It's all in there - I didn't make all this up... it's in the scripture somewhere - just read it and see if I'm telling you the truth.

May the Shalom of heaven come wrap you like a warm gentle blanket and settle in your heart and mind - that you might be on fire for Jesus!

Patrina <")>><
warrior bride in boots