On A Path To Healing

It has been a while since I came here, that I almost forgot what to do with blogger. I am currently picking myself up from the floor of spiritual emptiness and emotional pain. And I am on a path to "healing", some details I will share below.

Let me start with a story.

The work day was over so I set my laptop to hibernate. The moment I had clicked on that option, I shut the laptop and put it in my laptop bag. My colleague asked why I did that.

"Why didn't you wait for the laptop to hibernate completely before putting it in your bag?" she asked.

This was a long time habit which I had started when I was always "rushing" to meet Mr. Rita at the end of a work day. But from experience, the laptop always hibernated after I had sent the command.

"There was no need to wait," I replied, "once the command has been sent, the laptop has to respond. It has always hibernated."

As I carried my laptop and walked away, I realized that so is the word that comes from the Lord. When He speaks, He does not have to worry about whether or not it will happen as He has spoken. Once He sends it out, it always produces results. It always accomplishes what He wants to do. Not only that, it always prospers everywhere He sends it to.

Yes, whatever it is God has spoken concerning you, rest assured that it will come to pass. His word always produces results and all the time, the results exceeds our expectations. So to anyone who is still holding on to a promise of God, do not grow weary. As He has spoken so shall it be. In Jesus Name, Amen.

On the personal side, I am trying to recover emotionally from two consecutive pregnancy losses. It has been a very painful period (I did not know I would hurt emotionally so much, even after knowing how awesome my God is). Family, writing, work and personal projects were affected in different degrees. I tried to distance myself from God, because I kept asking myself why He allowed me go through such emotional pain. But understanding that God is ever-loving and ever-faithful, I cannot run from Him nor can I give room to think He does not have my best interest at heart. I know, that as always, I will still have testimonies.

So while I am trying to find myself back on the path to spiritual and emotional healing, I just list a few things I am thankful for:-

1. For life:- I know there is still hope, and I still have an opportunity to fulfill my God-given dreams.

2. For Family:- The amazing love and support of Mr. Rita all through this, and the sensitivity of my 19 month old princess, have been sources of strenght for me. 

3. For Family (again): - My mom and my sisters have been very encouraging. My mom has not failed to share encouraging words with me on a weekly basis.

4. For friends:- I have amazing prayer partners, and amazing friends who make it feel as though I am sharing the "burden" with so many people that I have nothing to carry.

5. For favor and grace:- I have seen grace and favor in different areas of my life. These are gentle reminders that God is still there even if I was still wondering. I cannot list all of these instances.

Wishing you a blessed weekend. Thanks to all of you who checked up on me. God remains faithful.

Updates

Just wanted to post an update on the book reading that took place at Patabah Books, Surulere, 25th of August. I should have uploaded a video but I have none :-( Pictures will come later :-)

 

It was my first book reading so I did not know what to expect. What thrilled me was the turnout of teenagers - who are actually the target audience of Against The Perfect Will. I read from 3 parts of the book after getting suggestions from trusted friends, and I actually enjoyed reading those parts. For more information on how to purchase the book, please visit HERE.

 

The questions I was asked ranged from how my personal life is related to the story, to my vision for writing. I thoroughly enjoyed the Q&A sessions, especially with the teenagers.

 

I am very thankful for such opportunity and I look forward to doing more of this, as time permits.

 

Meanwhile, I have come to a personal conclusion that non-fiction is not as easy to write as fiction. I can't wait to finish the book I am working on to get back to fiction. My fiction babies are begging to be born.

 

It may be a while before I update this blog, especially as I round up a couple of projects. For now, I will leave you with this message which I culled from Laugh & Lift for September 2, 2012.

 

Tangled Hair (Author Unknown)
(Based on a story told by Beth Moore, Houston, TX)
Beth was sitting at an airport terminal, waiting to board a plane. She was sitting there with several other people who were also waiting, whom she did not know. As she waited, she pulled out her Bible and started reading. All of a sudden she felt as if the people sitting there around her, were looking at her.
She looked up, but realized that they were looking just over her head, in the direction right behind her. She turned around to see what everyone was looking at, and when she did, she saw a stewardess pushing a wheelchair, with the ugliest old man sitting in it, that she had ever seen before. She said he had this long white hair that was all tangled and such a mess. His face was really, really wrinkled, and he didn't look friendly at all. She said she didn't know why, but she felt drawn to the man, and thought at first that God wanted her to witness to him. In her mind she said she was thinking, "Oh, God, please, not now, not here."
No matter what she did, she couldn't get the man off of her mind, and all of a sudden she knew what God wanted her to do. She was supposed to brush this old man's hair. She went and knelt down in front of the old man, and said "Sir may I have the honor of brushing your hair for you?" He said "What?" She thought, "Oh great, he's hard of hearing." Again, a little louder, she said, "Sir, may I have the honor of brushing your hair for you?" He answered, "If you are going to talk to me, you are going to have to speak up, I am practically deaf." So this time, she was almost yelling, "Sir may I please have the honor of brushing your hair for you?" Everyone was watching to see what his response would be. The old man just looked at her confused, and said "Well, I guess if you really want to." She said, "I don't even have a brush, but I thought I would ask anyway." He said, "Look in the bag hanging on the back of my chair, there is a brush in there." So she got the brush out and started brushing his hair. (She has a little girl with long hair, so she has had lots of practice getting tangles out, and knew how to be gentle with him.) She worked for a long time, until every last tangle was out.
Just as she was finishing up, she heard the old man crying, and she went and put her hands on his knees, kneeling in front of him again looking directly into his eyes, and said "Sir, do you know Jesus?" He answered, "Yes, of course I know Jesus. You see, my bride told me she couldn't marry me unless I knew Jesus, so I learned all about Jesus, and asked Him to come into my heart many years ago, before I married my bride." He continued, "You know, I am on my way home to go and see my wife. I have been in the hospital for a long time, and had to have a special surgery in this town far from my home. My wife couldn't come with me, because she is so frail herself." He said, "I was so worried about how terrible my hair looked, and I didn't want her to see me looking so awful, but I couldn't brush my hair, all by myself." Tears were rolling down his cheeks, as he thanked Beth for brushing his hair. He thanked her over and over again.
She was crying, people all around witnessing this were crying, and as they were all boarding the plane, the stewardess, who was also crying, stopped her, and asked, "Why did you do that?" And right there was the opportunity, the door that had been opened to share with someone else, the love of God. We don't always understand God's ways, but be ready, He may use us to meet the need of someone else, like He met the need of this old man, and in that moment, also calling out to a lost soul who needed to know about His love.

Remain Blessed.

 

Like When A Baby Cries

While the ladies awaited the call of their babies for immunization, the babies and the nannies were at the nursery in the clinic. Most of the mothers were lost in endless chatter until the shrill cry of a baby rang in the room. For a split second, the mothers were quiet. Then one of them jumped up, left all she was doing and ran towards the nursery. Once she picked up her baby, the ladies resumed their discussions. And yes, that's all it takes – just the cry of a baby, and the mother responds displaying her love, her compassion, tenderness, and providing the appropriate solution in response to that cry.

To the ordinary ear, all babies cry alike. But to the “trained” ear, the ear of a mother, every baby’s cry is distinct. Not only does the mother differentiate between her baby’s cry from another’s, she can also differentiate what each cry represents.

If mothers are so apt in identifying the cry of their babies, how much more does God hear, understand and respond to the cry of His children? Do you think He doesn’t see your tears (both the ones shed and the ones you could not shed)? He is a Father who loves you deeply and unconditionally. He is the one who hears your voice and your cries [Psalm 116:1]. He does respond quickly - even though it may seem like a long time to you. He works out His best for you according to His sovereign plan and impeccable timing. His work is accomplished even when it does not seem like anything happening.

I remember crying to God to make my relationship with a widower work out. Looking back, I am glad that though He heard my cry, He did not give me what I requested for in my limited sight. So though it seems that He has not responded to your cry as you desire, it may just be because He has a better plan for you.

Thanks be to God, a Father who keeps track of all your sorrows. He has collected all your tears in His bottle. None of them have fallen to the ground to be forgotten. He has recorded each one in His book that they may be brought to His remembrance at the appropriate time [Psalms 56:8].

Beloved, all the tears that you shed "are" remembered by God. If "properly" shed - shed in sorrow, in grief, or in pain, without murmuring or complaining, they will be remembered for your good. And yes, that's all it takes – just your sincere cry, whether voiced out or in your heart, your loving Father will respond, displaying His love, and providing the appropriate solution in response to that cry.

Remain Blessed.

NB: I will be reading and signing "Against The Perfect Will" on Saturday, 25th of August. Details are as follows:-

Details of the reading are:

Date: Saturday, August 25 2012
Time: 3 – 5 PM
Venue: Patabah Books, Adeniran Ogunsanya (Shoprite) Shopping Mall (Ground Floor), Surulere, Lagos.

I look forward to seeing you there. Please share this invitation with book-loving friends and family. If you already have a book and would like it to be signed, this will be a great opportunity.

The Bigger Miracle

His daughter’s illness had persisted and it seemed there was no cure. The physicians said there was no hope, and that in a few hours, she will be gone. But he was not ready to give up on his only beloved daughter. If there was anything else that could save her life, he was ready to try it.

Then he remembered the Man of God, the man who did miraculous things, including healing the sick. Perhaps he could ask the Man of God to heal his daughter. Putting aside any ego, he set off to find the Man of God. As he left his home, all he hoped for was to meet the Man of God on time.

He finally found the man of God, in the midst of an almost suffocating crowd. He reached to the man of God, fell at his feet and begged Him to come to his house. To this the Man of God agreed. Yet, His journey was delayed because He had to address a woman who declared that she was instantly cured the moment she touched Him. His heart was full of joy that indeed this Man of God was powerful. He thought that if a woman could be healed by simply touching Him, how much more will his daughter be healed when the Man of God touches her?

He was still in his train of thoughts when a man from his house came and said to him, “Your daughter is dead; do not worry the man of God!”

Have you ever found yourself in the situation where you were almost sure you had the solution? Your GPA was at its all-time high. You were almost sure you had met ‘the one’. You were called to the final stage of the interview. The treatment has yielded the right quality of eggs and sperm for the first time. And then, you face the greatest disappointment. An ‘F’ follows the all-time high GPA. ‘The One’ leaves you for someone else. The recruiter tells you they could only make space for one person, and that was not you. The right quality of eggs and sperm did not result in the babies. Then you wonder, “Is there still need to trust God?”

He asked himself, “Is it not over? Is there still need to trust this Man of God? Let me go home and mourn with my wife!”

But the Man of God answered him, “do not be seized with alarm or struck with fear; simply believe in Me as able to do this, and she shall be made well…”

And as the story goes, the girl was raised from the dead. What a miracle! No, he was not expecting this.

I do not know where you are in the miracle you have been waiting for, but this story I have shared is to resound the words of Jesus, “Simply believe in Me as able to do this!” The situation may have got to the point where it seems there is no more hope. You may have tried all you felt you could, and thought this time around the challenge will be over, only to be faced with a more daunting challenge. I just want to assure you that God is about to do a bigger miracle. He is about to do a miracle that exceeds your imagination and expectation. It is not over. God is not done with you. If there is any shred of faith left in you, trust Him.

I know it is not easy to overcome the disappointment or the overwhelming uncertainties. But you are just a step away from 'the bigger miracle'. May God give you the grace and strength to trust and wait on Him.

Remain blessed.

[Bible story culled from Luke 8: 40-56, AMP].

The Pine Wood Derby

I read this story this morning, and it touched a special place in my heart. I just decided to share here...

My son Gilbert was eight years old and had been in Cub Scouts only a short time. During one of his meetings he was handed a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and give all to "dad."

That was not an easy task for Gilbert to do. See, I'm the only one really raising Gilbert. His dad was not receptive to doing things with his son. But Gilbert tried. Dad read the paper and scoffed at the idea of making a pine wood derby car with his young, eager son. The block of wood remained untouched as the weeks passed.

Finally, I stepped in to see if I could figure this all out. The project began. Having no carpentry skills, I decided it would be best if I simply read the directions and let Gilbert do the work. And he did. I read aloud the measurements and the rules of what we could and couldn't do.

Within days his block of wood was turning into a pinewood derby car. A little lopsided, but looking great (at least through my eyes).

Gilbert had not seen any of the other kids cars and was feeling pretty proud of his "Blue Lightning," the pride that comes with knowing you did something on your own.

Then the big night came. With his blue pinewood derby in his hand and pride in his heart we headed to the big race. Once there my little one's pride turned to humility. Gilbert's car was obviously the only car made entirely on his own. All the other cars were a father-son partnership, with cool paint jobs and sleek body styles made for speed. A few of the boys giggled as they looked at Gilbert's, lopsided, wobbly, unattractive vehicle. To add to the humility Gilbert was the only boy without a man at his side. A couple of the boys who were from single parent homes at least had an uncle or grandfather by their side. Gilbert had "mom."

As the race began it was done in elimination fashion. You kept racing as long as you were the winner. One by one the cars raced down the finely sanded ramp. Finally it was between Gilbert and the sleekest, fastest looking car there. As the last race was about to begin, my wide-eyed, shy eight year old ask if they could stop the race for a minute, because he wanted to pray.

The race stopped. Gilbert hit his knees clutching his funny looking block of wood between his hands. With a wrinkled brow he set to converse with his Father. He prayed in earnest for a very long minute and a half. Then he stood, smile on his face and announced, "Okay, I am ready."

As the crowd cheered, a boy named Tommy stood with his father as their car sped down the ramp. Gilbert stood with his Father within his heart and watched his block of wood wobble down the ramp with surprisingly great speed and rushed over the finish line a fraction of a second before Tommy's car.
Gilbert leaped into the air with a loud "Thank you" as the crowd roared in approval. The Scout Master came up to Gilbert with microphone in hand and asked the obvious question, "So you prayed to win, huh, Gilbert?"

To which my young son answered, "Oh, no sir. That wouldn't be fair to ask God to help you beat someone else. I just asked Him to make it so I don't cry when I lose."

Children seem to have a wisdom far beyond us. Gilbert didn't ask God to win the race. He didn't ask God to fix the outcome. Gilbert asked God to give him strength in the outcome. When Gilbert first saw the other cars, he didn't cry out to God, "No fair, they had a father's help." No, he went to his Father for strength.

Perhaps we spend too much of our prayer time asking God to rig the race, to make us number one, or too much time asking God to remove us from the struggle, when we should be seeking God's strength to get through the struggle.

"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13
Gilbert's simple prayer spoke volumes to those present that night. He never doubted that God would indeed answer his request. He didn't pray to win, thus hurt someone else, he prayed that God supply the grace to lose with dignity.

Gilbert, by his stopping the race to speak to his Father also showed the crowd that he wasn't there without a "dad," but his Father was most definitely there with him. Yes, Gilbert walked away a winner that night, with his Father at his side.

(Taken from Laugh and Lift for July 23, 2012. For more Christian Inspirational articles and clean humor, visit Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com).

Remain Blessed.

Chocolate-Smeared Baby

She walked through the door and stared at me for a moment. Her beautiful, brown eyes shone with excitement as she realized I was the one standing in the room. Her heart-melting smile revealed her six beautiful teeth. Her arms were outstretched, awaiting me to carry her and sweep her off her feet. She was running towards me as she always does when she sees me after I have been away from work.

But for a moment, I was hesitant. I did not immediately run to her. There I was dressed in my favourite white shirt, and she was running to me with hands and mouth smeared with chocolate and all what not. In the split moment of my hesitancy, I said, "this is the end of this white shirt, but it is nothing compared to my daughter." Then I walked towards her, lifted her up and gave her a peck. It was one of those moments when I had to remind myself that God has been more than good to me.

As I reflected on this incident, I recalled the words of Jesus, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." [Matthew 19:14 NASB] God does not expect us, as we come into His presence, to have worked hard to become free of sin and be perfect. He is such a loving father who receives us with open arms when we come to Him. My daughter was not self-conscious, no, she did not even know she was covered in chocolate, nor she did not know what the smears could do to my white shirt. In the same vein, our gracious God wants us to come boldly into His throne of grace, just as we are, for there we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. 

Understand that your heavenly Father loves you unconditionally. Nothing can separate you from this love He has for you. If we know how to love and give good gifts to our children, then I believe our heavenly Father, who is love, can do much more than we can ask or think.

And so as I make my requests known to Him, I am no longer coming into His throne of grace with sin-consciousness. I know He loves me. I know His arms are always opened wide to receive me. I know that when He looks at me He sees me as the apple of His eye, His righteousness in Christ Jesus, and not one smeared with sin. I am coming to Him just as I am, this time naked and not ashamed.

What about you?

Remain blessed.

Animated Excerpt of Against The Perfect Will

I prepared this animation of a short excerpt from "Against The Perfect Will" for my book launch, but that day it worked only half-way! Anyway, I decided to share it here for those who were unable to make the book launch.

EXCERPT OF AGAINST THE PERFECT WILL - ANIMATION 

(Video embedded below; also available on YouTube)

I have received a couple of feedback about the story. I will appreciate if you can share yours on amazon.com HERE. However, if you are unable to do so but wish to leave a comment about the book, please feel free to do so as a comment on this page dedicated to "Against The Perfect Will" HERE.

For those interested in having a copy of the book, please see HERE for details on how to get the book.

Remain blessed.

Scene from Against The Perfect Will by pearlyrita on GoAnimate

Animation Software - Powered by GoAnimate.