His Act of Trust Made Me Ponder

I don’t know why most kids think toothpaste is some sort of candy to suck on once it has been put on their toothbrush. Anyway, my son knows fully well that once he is done “sucking” the toothpaste off his toothbrush, that is the end of him brushing his teeth and mummy comes to take over.

One fateful evening while he was having his bath, as usual he had sucked out the toothpaste from the brush. He then asked me for more toothpaste. He saw that “Nigerian-mom” look in my eyes that said “we are done brushing” and as I tried to snatch the toothbrush from him to rinse and pack up, he quickly hid his toothbrush to prevent me from taking it from him. I guess in his mind he was saying, “since she won’t give me toothpaste, I might as well manage water to brush my teeth!”

I realized he really wanted to brush his teeth. So I said, “give me the toothbrush let me put toothpaste for you.” I was expecting him to hide his toothbrush knowing from history what his mother was capable of doing. Instead he immediately handed me the toothbrush and went about pouring water on himself, awaiting the arrival of his “refilled” toothbrush.

Image source: dreamstime

His act of trust made me ponder. He actually took my word literarilly. He had “forgotten” that a few seconds ago I was ready to take the toothbrush and end the teeth-brushing activity. He trusted me completely that he just continued what he was doing expecting me to come back with what I said I will bring.

Then the word of God came to me, ‘Jesus however said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them; for it is to those who are childlike that the Kingdom of the Heavens belongs." [Matthew 19:14, WEY]’.

I don’t know what your situation is but today the Lord is telling you to trust Him completely. Whatever word He has spoken to you, take His word literarilly. Just as a child would to his/her parent.

Perhaps you are at a point where you are tired of trusting and waiting due to disappointments and hope deferred. Or perhaps you don’t even have a word to trust Him for. It is never too late to renew your trust in Him. Like the Father in the story of the prodigal son, He is waiting for you with outstretched arms, to talk with you, to speak with you, and to give you reason to trust Him.

Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, O LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You [Psalms 9:10, NIV rephrased].

Have a blessed day.

One of my many miracles of 2016

I cannot believe that today is the last day of 2016. This year had been good. If I thought I knew the extent of God’s love, mercy and faithfulness, 2016 taught me that I have not yet known even the beginning of His love. As a family, we cannot thank God enough for His faithfulness. The testimonies are plenty but I want to share one that has opened my eyes to the perfect timing of God.

It all started in October 2014. I was on one of my business trips so I thought to visit a doctor in the US whom I was familiar with to complain about a lack of menses. After her detailed tests, she said my ovaries had shrunk and from my hormone profile I was premenopausal (entering menopause before the right age for menopause). She said if my husband and I were interested in having another child, it will be very difficult for me to get pregnant naturally but she will give me some drugs to help. If after 3 months I did not get pregnant, she advised that we should consider more advanced fertility treatments.

I think I was more devastated to hear that I was premenopausal. When I discussed it with Mr. Rita, he brushed it off and said God has the final say. So I told him, “You are a seasoned engineer. If you make a diagnosis and give a recommendation, don’t you expect people to take your word and act on it? How much more a seasoned doctor?” He did not respond, but that was what I held on to.

At about the same period, my older daughter (3 going on 4) started talking about a baby brother. This baby brother was so real to her that she named him Kelechi. She talked about him every day that it became bothersome to me. I was working on my 2^nd novel (Morning Does Come) and every morning she would come to my study to talk about this baby brother, and even draw pictures about him. I called my mother one day and told her I was being “traumatized” by this baby brother, when the doctor had pronounced me premenopausal. My mother said next time my daughter mentioned it, instead of trying to explain why it may not happen, I should agree with her.

In March 2015 when the drugs had not worked, I went in search for an OBGYN in Pau, France where we were residing. I was told that the earliest appointment I could get was in July. I was leaving Pau in July so I could not take the appointment.

In April 2015, I had a dream. One lady visited me and gave me a word about my children. I told her “how can it be when all through my marriage I have struggled to have children?” and her response was “The Lord will do it. As a sign, He will give you a son and his name will be called Jude”. I woke up that morning thinking I would be pregnant, only to see a period a few days later. I was so disappointed and lost hope.

We got back to Nigeria in July and I quickly went to see my doctor who knew my history. When he did a scan, he said he was not seeing one ovary (from shrinking to disappearance???) and that we would have to schedule a HSG to understand what had happened to my organ. This was too scary to imagine. I told the doctor that once I return from one of my business trips, I would schedule the HSG.

I returned from my trip, and I was supposed to resume work in Nigeria immediately. On the day I went to the office in Nigeria, I was told the position was not available and hence I would have to go on a one-year leave of absence. The drop in oil price had impacted a lot of things. I was very very disappointed but I had no choice. I told myself that once I clear my desk, I would go and schedule the HSG. Maybe it was God giving me time to do the advanced fertility treatment if it called for it.

September 9, after I submitted my signed letter accepting the Leave of Absence, I went to the clinic to schedule the HSG. As part of routine practice, they performed a pregnancy test since I was 2 weeks late in my period. To my greatest surprise, it came out positive. I was in shock.

Please take a moment to pause here and feel the shock with me. 

I told the doctor he did not know what he was saying. It seemed he did not understand that I had been struggling with infertility all through my marriage so getting pregnant out of the blues was close to impossible. The doctor said since he trusts the results of the lab test, he will treat me as a pregnant woman.

That was how God gave me a surprise during my one-year leave of absence. Many people thought I planned it but did not know it came as a surprise to me. During the one year, I enjoyed my pregnancy – no work pressures at all and I had enough time for my other kids. Then when my baby was 6 months old, I was called back to office, for a similar role as I was to take before the leave of absence.

And before I forget, the baby is called Kelechi Jude, named by his sister and in fulfillment of the dream I was given in April 2015 (exactly 1 year before he was born).

Wishing you a miracle-filled 2017.

Zero Percent in Math

Today I want to share with you a lesson I learnt from my experience getting 0% in Math. For those who don’t know, I am a Petroleum Engineer. I would not have come this far without some passion for Mathematics. But once upon a time, Math was my weak point. Maybe I will share with you how I overcame that in another post. Let me not digress.

I was in Primary 4 then and we were learning division/fractions. It was the most difficult concept for me to grasp. Then we had a test. When I looked at the questions, for example 6 divided by 3, I told myself that these questions did not have solutions. The “problem” was unsolvable. So it was no surprise when the results of the test came, I had 0%.

My mother tried to explain the concept to me, but it did not stick. The teacher did the corrections but I could not fathom how she ever arrived at a so-called solution. My mind was made up – the problem was unsolvable.

But as I grew older, I realized the issue was not that the problem was unsolvable. The issue was I did not know the solution. Until I believed that there could be a solution and made effort to find that solution, the concept of division remained rocket science.

In life, I have faced a couple of challenges where it seemed like the problem was unsolvable. But each time I am reminded with the gentle words, “My people perish for lack of knowledge, is anything too hard for the Lord?” Until I run to the All-Knowing One, I remain in despair, depression and hopelessness. Thankfully, the 0% in Math also reminds me that the issue is not that the problem is unsolvable, but that I do not know what the solution is.

Have you ever been or are you in a situation where it seems the “problem” is unsolvable? Some issues may be impossible to the men, but with God nothing is impossible. It is never too late to seek the wisdom of the All-Knowing God. He says today, 

“Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” [Jeremiah 33:3, NIV].

Be it a strategy, be it direction and guidance, be it a solution to an issue, the Lord has all the answers.

As you call upon Him, may He open your eyes and ears to receive His unparalleled wisdom and restoration.

Remain Blessed.

Welcome to 2016 - Your Best Year Yet

Happy New Year !!!.

I don't know what your story was in 2015 but may 2016 be better, much more than you imagine.

Each day in 2016 is like the layers of an onion - each day is new and fresh, and comes with its own flavor and value. 

May you take each day at a time, being led by the Spirit of God and being sustained by God's grace.

May you experience uncommon grace and favor.

Praise our God, all people, 

Let the sound of His praise be heard;

He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping [Psalm 66: 8-9, NIV].

Welcome to 2016, Your Best Year Yet!

Remain Blessed

Rita Esuru Okoroafor

Excerpt from Morning Does Come: Chapter 7 Page 64

“Your mother does not need to know you came to see me,” Uncle Timothy said. “She will not be happy with you.”

“Why?” Kaine asked.

“It is complicated. Come here,” he said, motioning to her with his hand. “Come and sit on my lap like you used to when you were a child.”

She blushed.

“Uncle, I am quite heavy now,” she said as she stood up and walked toward him.

“The heavier, the better,” he said with a laugh.

He lifted her unto his lap. As she tried to make herself comfortable, her skirt moved up, revealing her thighs. He immediately pulled her closer to him.

In a hushed tone he said, “If a beautiful girl like you runs a restaurant, you will have many customers, not because of the food you cook but because many men will want to have a feel of you.”

What is the fate of Kaine during this meeting? Would she get what she wants out of the visit? Can you predict what next?

If you haven't picked up your copy of Morning Does Come, find out what happens to Kaine (and much more) by getting a copy through any of the means listed HERE. Get a copy for yourself or someone dear to you.

Compliments of the season and have a very Merry Christmas.

Ordinary but not Ordinary

Certain events may seem ordinary in your eyes but to God they are not ordinary; they are strategically happening for a greater purpose in time to come. #hope #lifelessonsfromkaine #morningdoescome

Next week, I will share with you an excerpt from my novel "Morning Does Come". Stay tuned... 

Morning Does Come

My Toddler and the Bottle of Medicine

It was a Tuesday. The day went on like any normal day. Infact, it was much better. The children had closed early from school. We had played together, done 'Mummy's Lessons' together, and talked and laughed so much. The children were in the best behaviors and I couldn't thank God enough for the joy He had given me through them. 

As usual, women have to be multitasking. 2 separate pots of beans were on the fire while we were having fun. And just when it was time to finalize the cooking of the beans, I remembered that the children's medications were in the fridge and needed to be warmer before I could administer them. So I brought them out of the fridge and kept on my section of the dining table then resumed cooking the beans. 

After some minutes, I heard the children haggling over something. 

"Give me some!" the older one said.

"No, its my own!" the toddler replied.

"Let me drink a little na!"

"No!"

I could not imagine what they were fighting over. 

I peeped through the glass in my kitchen door that overlooked the living room. Then I saw my toddler holding an empty bottle of cough syrup. I immediately ran out of the kitchen, forgetting the beans on the fire. She was coughing.

"Mummy, it's very sweet!" she told me with an innocent look as she handed to me the empty bottle of medicine.

I was finished at that point in time. I did not know where to start from. I turned to the older one to ask what exactly happened. It was obvious. I found myself scolding the 4 year old saying "next time, if you see your sister touching a bottle of medicine, take it from her and come and report to me!" How silly I sounded. 

I called Mr. Rita, told him we have an emergency and explained what had happened. No response from him, how frustrating. So I dropped the line and called Mr. Rita's father who is a doctor. I explained which medicine she drank and he gave me tips on what to do. After that, I went to attend to the beans which was almost burnt.

Very depressing and condemning thoughts began to enter my mind. I called myself names from irresponsible mother to a woman who did not deserve the precious gifts of God. I began to think of the impact of the medicine overdose, and this was only worsened when I consulted Dr. Google. 

When Mr. Rita returned from work, I immediately handed his children over to him (without greeting him) and ran into the bedroom to have a good cry.  Then I cried to God because the self-condemning thoughts were so depressing. And He comforted me. He reminded me of how happy the children were to spend the afternoon and evening with me. He reminded me of the beautiful paintings that came out of the extra time I spent teaching them how to color neatly. He reminded me that none had cried or thrown tantrums while we were together. I was not so bad after all.

So I wiped my tears away and went to join the rest of the family. Mr. Rita was as usual awesome with the children. They did not miss me. And just as I was about to set the table for their dinner, I saw that the medicine had spilled on the floor of the dining table. 

Phew! What a relief! She had not drank a full bottle of cough syrup but the whole experience was a lesson for me - Keep all medicines and anything harmful away from children!!!

And dear Mums, yes sometimes those self-condemning thoughts may come but I want to assure you that you are a great Mum, and no one could be a better mum to your kids than you.

Remain blessed.

From Dream to Reality

My children and I were watching an animated version of the story of Joseph, one of the sons of Jacob in the Bible. Since the children are less than 5 years old, I had to do a lot of explanation during certain scenes.

My older daughter has watched this movie several times. At the scene of one of Joseph’s dream, where the sun and the moon and the stars were bowing down to him, I explained it meant his brothers and parents will one day bow down to him. Then my older daughter asked, “Why did he have to go to Egypt and be washing the floor and enter prison before his brothers came and bowed down to him?”

To this I replied, “Ajuju”, which I always reply her when she asks me those deep questions which I must not hurry to answer. And then I began to ponder.

Isn’t it like God to give a ‘dream’ which only comes to reality in the fullness of time? Isn’t it the same God that made a promise to Abraham concerning a son from his wife Sarah, and when the time was right, it came to pass?

Let me not go too biblical. I am sure there are certain times you have prayed and the answers to the prayer came when the Lord deemed the timing right. I believe there are certain words, prophesies and promises spoken to you that became manifest only in the fullness of time. The fullness of time could be immediately, a day later, a month later, a year later or even ten years later, or more.

And if you are in waiting, do not despair. Your fullness of time will come. In the meantime, here are some things you can consider.

1. God exists outside of time. He is not bound by nor limited by our time. While you, or those around you may feel that time is going and soon it will be too late, when He finally comes through, you will understand that His timing is perfect. The bible states that “Through faith also Sarah herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age…” [Hebrews 11:11, KJV]. There was no medical condition of this child (Isaac) which was recorded to have been due to Sarah’s age, nor was it said recorded that she had issues during the 9 month journey due to her age. Indeed the Lord perfected the conception and childbirth despite Sarah’s age.

    2. God cannot lie. God is not a man, so He does not lie. He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through? [Numbers 23:19, NLT]. Hence if He has given you a dream, shown you a vision, or given you a word, it will come to pass. It does not matter when.

    3.God does not need ‘big faith’ to work with you. Yes the Bible says “But without faith it is impossible to please Him…” [Hebrews 11:6, KJV] but all He needs is a little faith. This is demonstrated in the scripture, "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." [Matthew 17:20, NLT]. Faith as small as a mustard seed could simply be a confession that ‘Lord, I cannot bear this on my own. I give it all to You because You are the only one who can help me through this situation’. Or it could be that revelation in your heart when a word of God comes alive in you, and you have that knowing that God is able, and your situation is settled in Him. Little faith is sufficient for Him.

  4. Prior to a breakthrough, it may seem as if the situation heightens in magnitude, almost crushing you beyond what you can bear. Imagine that Joseph had to go to prison before his breakthrough. Beloved, where there is life, there is hope. No matter what comes your way, you will overcome “for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” [1 John 5:4, NIV].

May your dreams come to reality.

Remain blessed.

The story of Joseph can be read in the Bible Genesis 37, 39 – 48.

‘Ajuju’ is an igbo word that means ‘Question’.

Tune to Inspiration 92.3fm let's talk about Morning Does Come

Join Titilayo Oyinsan (TeeEyeTeeEye) and I during the Tea Break Show on 92.3 Inspiration Fm this Friday from 10.30am as we discuss my 2nd novel "Morning Does Come".

Make it a date as follows:
Friday, 4th of December
10:30am - 1:00pm WAT

If you are far from your radio, you can join in via the link below:
http://tunein.com/radio/Inspiration-923-FM-s165872/

If you've read the book, here is an opportunity to ask those questions that have been running through your mind, and share your point of view. If you have not yet read the book, here is an opportunity to know why "Morning Does Come" is a must-read.

Talk soon...

Morning Does Come Now Available in Nigeria

Morning Does Come - A brief review:

This beautifully written novel tells the story of Kaine, a young woman whom we have all met: a promising ray of hope born amidst less than fortunate circumstances.

Her journey of faith and self-actualization through life's travails will move you. It reminds us of personal encounters with divine providence, and how indeed through it all, morning does come.

Rita Okoroafor has been blessed with the gift of inspiring faith through prose. Her stories reach the depths of human existence in a simple and unembellished way. The characters she creates are as real as the readers themselves and her message inspires reflection on God's message of love and hope. A gem has surely made her entrance into the Christian literary world.

~ Adetola A.


Morning Does Come, is now available in Nigeria. If you wish to get an autographed copy (within Lagos and Port Harcourt), please drop me a message on Facebook or using the email esurunma@gmail.com, and we can discuss further.

For more details of the book and how you can get a copy, please visit the link here.

For more details of my first novel "Against the Perfect Will", please visit this link here.

Remain blessed.

Some Truths About Marriage

Just to share an excerpt of a book in progress...

1.  Marriage does not drive away loneliness: It is shocking to realize that though marriage is meant to provide companionship, there can still be times when you feel lonely in marriage. There will always be a vacuum that your spouse cannot fill, and that nothing else can really fill. There is always a space left for God (and the things He will need you to do) to fill...  

2. Marriage is not the solution to sexual promiscuity, sexual addictions, or lust: If these issues are not properly dealt with before marriage, chances are they may rear their heads during the course of the marriage.

3. There will be conflict in marriage even if you are married to “Mr. Right”: What makes the difference between the good and the bad and results in a happy, successful marriage is how conflict is managed.

4. Marriage may come with some trials and temptations: Prayer and the fear of God will help in such times. God will not give you more than you can bear, and you can overcome any trial or temptation that comes your way by His grace.

5. Marriage has a way of molding us into the image of God if we allow it: In being married to someone with a different personality, a different background, and differing experiences and expectations, you may find yourself learning new things, becoming less self-centered, and being refined... 

Excerpt from Chapter 1: #Preparingforyourking

What are your thoughts on the points above? True? Not true? Something else to add?

Remain Blessed.

Time to do exploits

As I discussed with the hotel manager concerning business in the hotel, she confessed that things had changed recently. She could not explain the sudden drop in customers or why it seemed clients no longer used the conference rooms in her hotel. She wondered if competition was doing something differently. I left her speculating.

I could only assume. The ripple effect. The oil price dipped. Budgets were revised. Many were out of jobs. Cost cutting/reduction became the order of the day. Nice-to-haves were shelved aside. Frivolities were suspended. It started with the oil industry but pervaded through some other parts of the economy. People and businesses were affected directly or indirectly.

There are homes where husbands and wives found themselves out of jobs. There are some where the breadwinner or supporters were affected. There are those who were hoping to get lucrative jobs once they finished school, only to be hit with the news that there is a freeze on recruitment for the time being. There are so many scenarios of the ripple effect.

But should one lose hope?

This post is for you who might be in despair. Your dreams will not crumble. Your life will not be shattered. The macro and micro "things" may happen...

...but the people that do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits [Daniel 11:32, AKJV].

The Lord foreknew these things, and He knows there is a way out. He is the God able to sustain you one day at a time. He is the one who is able to open your eyes to see new opportunities. He is the one who is able to restore you even to positions better than the former.

It is time for you to do great exploits, much more that you ever thought you could do. As you get to know Him more and more, attune your ears to His voice and align your heart with His, He will direct your steps. 

Remain Blessed.

The Sojourn

I had not seen Mr. Rita in 4 months. And he had not laid eyes on our September Gift. December 2013 I carried my children and my boxes, said goodbye to my loved ones in Nigeria, and I was off to Pau, France.
I arrived at a city where it was imperative to know how to speak French to survive. The A I had in Junior WAEC French was not sufficient in the face of reality. That was not even my challenge. Nanny! By the time I learnt that there was nothing like live-in nanny, and I had to pay 18 euros per hour for nanny, I had to calibrate myself. But God ever so good made the settling in smooth, provided me with help just right on time, and gave me the best vacation thus far.

I am grateful for the time in Pau, even though there was no chance to even post "hi" on the blog. DIY place.
I am grateful for the lives that impacted me in Pau. My dear Pau sisters, I hope you get to read this post and realize how much you mean to me. Oh how I miss "my children" who gave me joy every time we were together. Gros Bisous.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be taken out of my myopic world, to see different cultures and learn not to judge.
I am grateful for the serenity that made me reflect on what I really want out of life.
And I am grateful for the lesson I learnt - there may be a language barrier, but a smile, a hug, a tear, "woof woof", "meow", and laughter do not need translation: they are universal and understood by everyone.
And if you love someone, there are so many other ways to express it other than speaking.

Glad to be back home though.

The September Gift

My dearest people, apologies for my long hiatus between Dec 2012 and August 2013...plus my inability to respond to comments on my blog or leave comments on my fellow bloggers' blogs. Please bear with me.

 

In one of my previous posts, by faith I posted about a "September Gift" (all those posts were scheduled). Please read below (long post alert!!!) the story behind the September Gift. I hope someone is encouraged by this post.

 

I had 2 consecutive pregnancy losses between August and October 2012. In November, I had to travel for training in the US. My husband then insisted that I should do a follow up test to ensure the evacuation procedure (for the 2^ndpregnancy loss) was done properly, and to check if there was something wrong causing the recurrent pregnancy loss. Reluctantly I obeyed. I did a couple of tests and to my greatest shock, the Dr pronounced me to be diabetic and immediately put me on medication. She said that the high sugar level was the cause of the pregnancy losses, and I should tell my doctors in Nigeria not to let me get pregnant again until the sugar level was under control.

When I got back, it was not an issue of pregnancy anymore. It was sugar level matter. I was in the hospital once a week for all sorts of tests and follow up. I did some research and found out that someone who is diabetic and gets pregnant is considered high risk. The person will be taking injections throughout the pregnancy, etc. I discussed all of these with my husband. He then said we should pray about it. After one of his personal quiet times, he told me when I go back for the tests, there will be no trace of high blood sugar level.

When I went for my next appointment, the blood test results came out. The sugar level was on the lowest side that the doctors (Physician and OB/Gyn) became confused. They said they had to stop me from taking the medication, because I was on a low dose yet it had the effect of reducing my sugar level too low. However, they could not stop me abruptly. They said I should take half the medication and come back one month later for checkup.

In January, I missed my period. I did a pregnancy test and it came out negative. I then became worried that possibly the medication for sugar level given to me in Nigeria had done something to my menstrual cycle. It was very early in the year (festive season) so I could not reach any of the doctors who knew my history to complain. I was eager to see my period so that I could probably start ovulation induction, since my blood sugar was considered normal. When I did not see the period and unable to reach my doctors, I just went to see any doctor in Lagos at the clinic where they were monitoring my blood sugar level. They did a blood test and found out I was pregnant. Then I became scared because I had no pregnancy symptom. For the last 2 pregnancies, when I lost them, I had no pregnancy symptoms as well. I began to panic. The doctor I saw did not know my history so he did not know why I was worried. He just told me to take folic acid and come back in 2 weeks. One week later, my obgyn was back so I went to see him. After I complained that I had no pregnancy symptoms, and I was scared that history will repeat itself, he put me on a weekly hormonal injection. On the 2nd week of the injection, I started bleeding.

I rushed back to the clinic and they did a scan. To my dismay, the sac was empty. At 6 weeks, one would expect to see a yolk sac and a fetal pole, but this one was empty. I saw it with my eyes. At the same time, the owner of the clinic walked in because he wanted to use the scan room. He looked at the scan and said, "this is an impending miscarriage. The sac has collapsed and we have blood all over. If by next week you have not finished bleeding, come back for an evacuation!" In my file they wrote "Anembryonic something something..."

I wept. I was devastated. I could not eat after that news. I stopped taking all medications including the folic acid. My husband then said we will go ahead with the evacuation, and then go for a vacation. He made all the arrangements for the vacation.

Because I had done a procedure in October, I was not keen on another one. So I decided to go to the Dr to ask for an alternative i.e. if they had a medication I could take to end the pregnancy since it was very early. When I went to the clinic, he said he would like to do a scan to know if the medicine would work or if we must do a procedure, because it depended on the amount of “tissue”that could be left behind by using medication. Lo and behold, there was a baby with a very strong heartbeat in the scan. I could not believe my eyes and ears. The Dr was in shock. He said this can only be God. That I should say thank God.

Well, my family and I went on the vacation a few weeks later, travelling around US, when I should have been resting. When I expressed some fears, my husband said, "It is not about what I do or do not do. It is God that is watching over the child".

By my week 10, I woke up one morning and I was soaked in water. I knew I did not urinate on myself. I do not sweat normally, so it could not have been sweat in that cold weather. Then my mind went to amniotic sac had ruptured. That was the same day I was to travel from Baltimore to Atlanta. I called my sister and asked for advice. Due to weather conditions, she said I should wait till I arrive at Atlanta before seeing a doctor. That though this is an emergency situation, doctors will not be keen on preserving the life of the child since it was quite early, and so it will end up in a procedure. So I should bear and get to Atlanta that night and go to a clinic.

It was not easy. I felt that if I had known, I should not have travelled. I was far away from medical attention and I felt disappointed that God allowed me to see a baby with heartbeat, only to take the baby at week 10. My hubby prayed but I was in panic mode. Finally I settled down and prayed. I asked God for only one word. He gave me more than a word. He said, “With Me nothing is impossible. Even if the amniotic sac has ruptured, which has not happened, I can fix it. So my daughter, do not worry”. From then on, I became the one consoling my sister and my husband that everything will be alright.

I got to the clinic in Atlanta around 6pm. After all the checks, they could not find a trace of leaking liquid. The scan showed a healthy baby enjoying and not having a care in the world. I was discharged but told to treat for yeast infection.

By week 14, when all worries and fears about losing the baby should have been gone, I started bleeding. I went for a scan and my doctor said he suspects a degenerating fibroid, which he showed me. He scheduled me for a detailed scan with the radiologist. When I went for that scan two days later, not only had the bleeding stopped, the radiologist could not find any trace of a fibroid. As I look back now, it is possible that God had worked another miracle there.

The pregnancy itself afterwards was very smooth. I was so energetic and I looked forward to the birth of my baby.

My baby’s due date was 7^th of September, 2013. 3 nights before that, I was woken from sleep by a contraction. This was the same experience I had with my first baby whom I had a few hours after I was woken up by contractions. I remained awake to monitor the intervals of contractions. It was 30 minutes apart. So I rested and expected that by morning, the intervals would have reduced and I would be much closer to active labor. To my disappointment, by the time I woke up in the morning, there were no contractions. The same thing happened the next night. I had to read online and some people mentioned “painful Braxton-hicks” while some others called it “pre-labor”and that the longer the pre-labor, the shorter the active labor. On Friday night (6^th of September), the same thing happened. This time, I could not even go back to sleep. Yet the intervals of contractions were 20-30 minutes apart. On the 7^th morning, I told my sister I would like to go to the clinic – she actually saw me going through one of the contractions. So she accepted to drop me at the clinic.

As we started our journey, the contractions stopped. I told my sister to please turn back, that it was “false labor” and I did not want her to get to the hospital (45 mins drive away) only to be told that I should go home. She refused and said not all labors are the same. That she will prefer to have me see a doctor. I reluctantly listened to her.

When we got to the clinic, I was checked. The doctor said I was only 2cm dilated, I was not contracting, and my cervix was not ready for birth. However, they said they will monitor me, and also run some tests to see if I had some infections that were causing painful Braxton-hick contractions.

I was on the hospital bed with the monitoring devices (contractions and fetal heart rate) feeling very bored. My sister had left. I was lamenting that I should not have wasted hers and my time that morning. I had just sent her a text that I will talk to the doctors to let me go home soon, and I will come home to prepare lunch, when suddenly a group of medical staff rushed into the room where I was. One of them explained to me that I am being rushed to the theatre for an emergency cesarean section, because my baby’s heartbeat had dropped very low. There was no time for further discussion, I saw myself being wheeled to a theatre. I was prepared for the operation. However when they monitored my baby’s heartbeat, it had normalized, so they said they were going to induce me to have the baby via vaginal birth. I was then wheeled back to my ward.

I was induced and was being monitored. However, I was not dilating as they expected yet baby's heartbeat was fluctuating. The epidural they gave me began to wear off. I then called on the anesthesiologist to come and look into it. When she turned me to my right side for a refill, my baby’s heartbeat dropped so much that I was rushed back to the theatre. They told me they could not wait for the effect of the epidural to set in and so I had to go on full anesthesia.

I woke up, I saw a baby in my arms, who I breastfed for about 2 minutes. I recall sending out message to my husband and sister telling them I had had the baby, and I think I went back to sleep. I woke up again and I was in a recovery room. I asked for my baby but no one could tell me where my baby was. I became scared. It was almost 7 pm. My sister came to check on me. She wanted to see the baby too. The nurses said they could not bring the baby to the recovery room. I kept praying that everything was okay with my baby.

I finally saw my baby by 10pm. She was born around 1:40pm. She weighed 2.6kg. She was the smallest baby I had ever seen. But when I held her in my arms, looking down at her nose so exactly like her father’s, I could only thank God for yet another full term journey He had taken me on. It was a journey of revealing another part of Himself to me. He that promised is faithful.

Today, when I hold her in my arms, I remember that she was called “an impending miscarriage, an anembryonic sac, degenerating fibroid…” but God had the final say. She is Nwachi Grace, and I love her so.

 

Remain blessed.